It's Our Palm Sunday!

The Orthodox church heads into our Holy Week for Pascha starting this evening. Every year, I forget to expect the devil's extra attempts to deter and distract me. Things that any other time of year wouldn't even phase me seem to sucker punch me and cause spiritual weariness. Sometimes, I wonder why I don't just lay down and admit defeat, but then I remember the answer, and it is simple: Unconditional love.

I admit I draw much of my strength from knowing that I have someone who knows me down to the smallest minutiae and does not care. He wants the best for me, hates when I fall, and encourages me in growth. The more I share, the more comfortable and secure I feel to share and to be myself. This is not to say I don't have emotional reactions or get upset when things aren't just so. I would love to be able to say I am emotionally mature enough that I somehow hover above any negative impact of others' criticisms and condescension, but the lie detector determined that was a lie.

Every Lent, I choose one weakness to work on, and this year, I realized I still have residual hurt and abandonment from losing various friends.  I've noticed, and I've internalized it and criticized and criticized myself until there's nothing left. As humans, myself included, we don't want to be friends with people who are difficult. We want to be near the popular people, the pretty people, the charismatic people who make us feel good about ourselves. Uncomfortable emotions or situations that are outside of our comfort zone make us feel, well, uncomfortable, and I know very few people who intentionally seek out that discomfort or view it as an opportunity to grow. I am an uncomfortable friend. I recognize that, but it doesn't negate the feelings of rejection.

However, when I have someone in my corner who loves me when I am at my very worst or absent from the relationship and doesn't hold those slights against me, no matter what I infer from friends' behavior and perceived rejection, it makes it easier to remind myself I am going through a stage or dealing with hormones and keep things in perspective. Some would argue it is a mere catharsis because I don't want to deal with life, but I would argue it is merely a deep well from which to draw energy and compassion.

If my so-called friend discarded me when I made a stupid mistake and ended up with an unplanned child, I still have a full love I cannot even comprehend, let alone replicate. When another so-called friend gradually ghosts me and doesn't even know what's happening in my life these days, Facebook-wise or not, it reminds me I have not been as intentional or forward in pursuing the friendship, either, but I can never lose the support of my unconditional love.

I try to remember my own feelings of self-criticism when I address others or offer advice. I know how it feels to be criticized, whether by others or by my own self-perceptions, and I would hate to cause anyone else that same pain, though I know I have. It's easier to be kind to nice people and even strangers. I do not bless when I am cursed, and I struggle to pray for those I perceive to have mistreated me. Having unconditional love from God does not mean he enables me. He provides standards and provides the necessary tools to reach those levels. He rejoices when I improve and weeps when I hurt him by hurting others.

If that weren't enough, I  also have the love and support of the Theotokos, His Mother. She is the epitome of motherly love and obedience. In our hymns from this past week, we cried:

"Spotless Virgin, undefiled, Mother of God, ever-virgin, O all-holy Lady pure, Theotokos, how can I worthily extol you, the pure dwelling place of our God and Savior? For in soul and mind, I am defiled. How can I tell about all the great and wonderful benefits, the grace and mercy and the love that you never cease to pour on to me? Even so, with trembling, I reverently approach and shout, Rejoice, you who console the believers all who faithfully pray to you."

May similar hymns are written to her. Most often, they are addressing her as the Mother of mankind, an intercessor, and someone who is an aid in distress. I have had some days when even God did not feel near so I turned to her. Between the firm support of God's love and her compassion, I feel able to withstand even the worst days. I can't put into words how much she has meant to me.

No human can fill in for this great position, and it's unfair to expect anyone to do so. Part of grace is understanding that each person will fail you at some point in his or her life, and later people are not to be blamed for the previous transgressions. The kindest and holiest person is a mere reflection of the capacity of God's love, and I fall miserably short from even that, but I will keep trying until I die.

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Hymn from Bridegroom Services during Holy Week

Behold the Bridegroom cometh in the midst of the night, and blessed is the servant whom He shall find watching; and again unworthy is he whom He shall find heedless. Beware, therefore O my soul, lest thou be borne down with sleep, lest thou be given up to death, and lest thou be shut out from the Kingdom. Wherefore rouse thyself and cry: Holy, Holy, Holy art Thou, our God, Through the protection of the Heavenly Hosts save us.

How Do We Survive Adversity?

What is the Orthodox response to adversity?
Written by Hieromonk David (Pierce) and Mother Andrea (Nicholas)

     Adversity is a fact of life. Everyone, at one point or another, is faced with some type of illness, financial loss, foreclosure, family situation, or some other challenge. Adversity is also relevant to the individual and to some, receiving a poor grade in school or not winning a tennis match can be enough to upset one's apple cart. But the Orthodox Christian has mechanisms whereby we can cope in times of distress.
     First, we should always keep before us the knowledge of God's providence. You really can sit back and let God drive the car because, as our holy Father, Saint Philaret of Moscowinstructs us, providence calls man to the Lord's paths, and you are at peace. If one does not have a strong faith and does not believe in God's providence, then despair would consume the person in times of adversity. Nothing is spinning out of control. God is allowing even the least thing and is using it to the benefit of our salvation and to our experience of happiness with Him.
     In the case of life-threatening or catastrophic illnesses, our holy father Saint Isaac of Syria tells us that we must realize that God brings sickness for our advantage, for the soul's good health, and that people who discover the purpose of this are blessed. It is at these times that the Orthodox Christian mind should the pitfall of thinking, "Why me?" Understanding God's providence, the mind must be refocused to ask, "Okay, what does God want me to do now?" Suffering is more endurable when the individual concentrates on how to use that suffering to the benefit of the soul, rather than trying to understand why it happens.
     We are told in the Gospel of Mattew (18:3) that we are to come to God as little children. If a little boy wants to run out onto a busy highway, his mother will grab him and yank him back, maybe even give him a little spank. As a child, he understands this message as "Mom is a meanie." We are God's children and yet we do not understand that God allows certain things to happen so that we will learn from them. This doesn't mean people can't ask God for healing -- maybe that's what God wants, is for us to ask of his mercy. When you realize something is life-threatening and you have no control, then you really must trust God -- a trust which should be occurring all along.
     In the Gospels, we are told to "Ask and you shall receive." The Greek verb for this appears in the imperative tense, which indicates you are asking [to do something] more than once, continually or repeatedly. This tells us that we are to actually "keep asking" and we shall "keep receiving". It is not a static verb.
     If we find that our prayers are not answered by God, there are generally four reasons this may occur: 1) our request is not timely--for example, a young child cannot pray to be married "right now"; 2) our request is not the correct thing to happen for us; 3) our prayer is made in pride or by it being answered, it will lead to our pride; or 4) we don't pray before we enter into the situation--for example, someone loses their job, but this person, when they had been comfortable in their job, had never thanked God for his blessings and had never prayed for his mercy.
     Orthodoxy is not a "self-help" religion. While we do trust in God's mercy and we do have the help of the saints, ultimately, the purpose of our faith is theosis, which is to unite ourselves to God. Many of the saints had very difficult lives, but in a spiritual sense, it was exactly their trials and tribulations and their response to these afflictions that made their lives blessed. One must work at faith just as we work at anything. Sometimes, we may find that an affliction is what God wants us to go through. Always, there is a reason behind our suffering and it is through prayer, participation in the holy Mysteries of Repentance and Communion, and openness with our spiritual father that we can discern the purpose of our suffering.
     It is important for believers to partake of the "preventive medicine" given to us by the Church. Almost every Orthodox Christian knows to have their car blessed periodically. But some people think it is so that they won't get into an accident. In actuality, the priest blesses the car so that if one does happen to get into a wreck, they will have the grace of God necessary to deal with this adversity.
     Our Faith gives us many, many tools to deal with adversity. We have the holy icons, relics, oil from vigil lamps that are burning before these icons and before the relics, the holy Mystery of Unction, of Repentance and Holy Communion, we have holy water. All of these things are given to Orthodox Christians for their use and in times of affliction, we would immediately turn to the Church for help. These tools are a means that people have been given and it is foolish not to make use of it.
     The "prescriptions" of how to use these tools are best given by the clergy. As an example of how one would use the tools of our Faith would be: if one is taking a chemotherapy pill at home, leave the pill beneath the icon of Saint Panteleimon all day, then before taking the pill at night, read the Gospel of Saint Mark, with special attention to 16:18, "They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them..." In the case of cancer, anoint yourself with holy oils from a lamp burning before an icon of Saint Panteleimon, or of the Pantanassa icon of the Mother of God, or of Saint Nektarios of Aegina. These oils are not hard to find, one must only ask their priest or the monastics for assistance.
     Often suffering is not physical but mental in the form of anguish and unknowing. We all know we are going to die but we always believe there will be tomorrow. When a catastrophic illness happens, it is like cold water in your face. It reminds us that we can make all sorts of plans, but our life is in God's hands. Look at the World Trade Center --the people going to work there on that fateful day had no idea that they would not be going to work the next day. Again, we must trust in God's providence and be as little humble children before Him.
     God truly does not call us to do anything without giving us the grace with which to do this. People may say, "Oh, I could never do that", but when they are called to go through with it, they are able to endure and God fortifies them, just as the martyrs of all the ages have been given strength. Remember, God's "...strength is made perfect in weakness"(2 Cor 12:9).
     How well the individual copes with suffering boils down to their perspective. In modern secular society, people want to die in their sleep. But in the Orthodox Church's teaching, you want to be prepared. If it is a terminal illness, you are blessed because you have been given the gift of foreknowing. By God's mercy, you have time for repentance; time to get your affairs in order; time to make amends with anyone you may have offended; time to do these things that you always intended to do but never got around to doing.
     Another contemporary trial many are facing now is job loss. Let me expound first on the situation of those Orthodox Christians who have been able to keep their jobs. It is scandalous for all of us that any of our brothers and sisters in this country would ever be in the situation of a total loss of a support network because of job loss. People outside of Orthodoxy are trying to live the Gospel better than we are and have services within their denominational communities to help people in need. But some Orthodox churches have a hard time taking care of their own. In this economy [NOTE: this was written in 2013], many of our brothers and sisters in Christ are starving, losing their cars, their homes, and everything is falling apart around them. Orthodox people should give from the abundance of their hearts in these times, remembering that "...the Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning..."(Job 42:12). When we are able to help and just give a dollar or two, we have a lot to answer for, again having been given the answer in the Gospel of what we are to do: "...I was [hungry] and ye gave me meat; I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink; I was a stranger and ye took me in; naked, and ye clothed me; I was sick, and ye visited me; I was in prison, and ye came unto me"(Mat 25:35-36).
     As for the person who is enduring the job loss, trust in God is so necessary. He Who clothes the fields with lilies finer than Solomon's raiment(Mat 6:28-29) and who care for the birds of the air(Mat 6:26) certainly is not going to let us starve. Above everything, turn to Holy Communion for strength -- it will fortify you. Rather than falling into despair, focus that energy on more prayer: prayer to Saint Xenia, patron of the jobless; prayer to our Guardian Angel; prayer to our patron saint or Slava.
     We really cannot understand adversity and should not try to understand. God allows suffering to happen as a way of showing his great love for us. When I call to mind the Great Canon of Saint Andrew of Crete, Ode 4 speaks perfectly of most of us:

"The opulent and righteous man, arrayed in royal dignity, crown and purple, abounding in wealth and cattle, was suddenly shorn of his riches, glory, and kingdom and became a beggar. If he who was righteous and blameless beyond all did not escape the snares and nets of the deceiver, what will you do, my soul, who are sin-loving and wretched, if something unexpected happens to you? ...Boastful I am, and hard-hearted, all in vain and for nothing ... accept me in penitence and recall me to awareness of Thee... I am become my own idol, and have injured my soul with passions... Have mercey on me, O God, have mercy on me."

     Everything that is allowed to happen to us happens for our salvation. These are tools given to us for our salvation. Just think, before the suffering, people only have a little rusty toolbox with a few tools in it -- but afterwards, they have big velvet boxes filled with brand-new tools!
     In short, our prayers should be that God's will be done.

The Crux

My work team completed a core values exercise based on Brené Brown's Dare to Lead(Group word cloud above). I circled anything that resonated with me and then narrowed it down to my top 5. I didn't discover anything surprising, but I'm abnormally introspective, which manifests in being self-aware. I may or may not have overanalyzed more than what was expected. 😏 I've expanded and expounded slightly from that assignment.

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Growing up in an environment that emphasized status and accomplishments, words were sometimes just that. Was it considered life-changing or better than what they’d already done? If not, then they did not feel impressed. It made me determined to make sure that people feel valued merely because they are a human being—not because of a title or achievements. In no way does this mean I am a fan of participation awards or coddling people. In addition, I am very intentional with what I promise someone. I’ve had clients and customers who initially were upset I wouldn’t make them a promise that I wasn’t sure I could deliver. I’m a big fan of under-promise and overdeliver as more than just business jargon.

Integrity was the first word that came to mind even before I looked at the options. I consider it vital because the principle drives me when no one else is around and determines my treatment of others when I have no benefit. In addition, integrity is a factor in feeling safe because I can trust the person to be authentic and work towards the benefit of the team. My word is my bond, and when I feel pressured, while ethics can be swayed, integrity is a quality that is internal and a personal choice.

Faith in God is not a requirement to have integrity, but having faith makes it easier in some ways. All the world's great religions praise integrity as a principle spiritual value. I have a grounding pole when things are turbulent and that reminds me why I still have faith in God and humanity when humanity has disappointed me. Integrity is paramount to God and it is impressed upon throughout the Bible from Psalms and Proverbs all the way through to Revelations.

My lifelong goal remains to make sure people never feel shame for who they are and that they feel an appreciated member of the group. Inclusion and compassion are the biggest drivers of this goal. I never want people to feel worse about themselves after they interact with me. Understanding that people have different struggles they are facing or have surmounted sets up an environment of acceptance and safety. Compassion also does not necessarily mean accommodations or a “bah, humbug” mentality, but rather, it’s more aligned with grace and empathy.

In geology, inclusion means that, although the particle is embedded, it is still distinct from the surrounding area. If someone feels safe, he feels freer to express himself and take risks because he feels like part of a family that will accept him for his true self. It does NOT mean he loses his identity to the group. In reality, I hesitate to go somewhere I don't feel completely sure that I'm wanted. It's difficult as a socializer to have that kind of handicap. I struggle inviting people to my house because, well, if you'd seen my house, you'd understand. It's easier to be kinder to others than myself. (Side note: I am accepting any and all social invites that don't collide with any other commitments.)

Contentment is significant because it requires an internal dialogue of gratitude and positivity. This state of being doesn’t mean I am settling with my career or life situation but that I focus on being satisfied with happiness as an outlook and not as a goal to achieve someday or think “I will be happy when I___”.

Humor is the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae. Humor looks at things in a different light. It means bringing joy to things that can sometimes be uncomfortable and sets others at ease. It is both a way of coping and a form of entertainment.

I spend much of my time volunteering at church and in my community. I would like to spend this next year with even more time spent with hands-on volunteering because it keeps me grounded, makes a difference, and allows me to help others as I can. I could be better at practicing gratitude with what I have, although this time of year helps remind me.

I enjoy engaging people online in debates and sometimes controversial discussions. It provides a good training ground for not jumping to conclusions, asking clarifying questions, and making sure to walk away if I feel tempted to provide an emotional response in the heat of the moment. Despite the successes, I still struggle to remain positive, especially on topics where it can be challenging to find the silver lining.

I intentionally surround myself with people that have similar goals. My boyfriend’s character is very much like mine. We see eye-to-eye on many things, and part of the reason I love him is that we share the integrity, compassion, and humor values. When I have friends that cause friction, I am polite but firm in my response. Some people consider me meek, but that's generally just until I get more comfortable with them or I'm in my comfort zone. At that point, there are other words I've been called.

I have friends across spectrums in many different regards because I find value in different parts of their characteristics. My weakest point would still be my family just because we have so much history and because of the dynamic of the relationships, but I think they still support my values overall, although the methods might be called into question.

I have also become more comfortable in staying firm in the mounting pressure of mainstream society’s expectations regarding what defines success vs. what I consider important. I attribute part of this to more global interactions and exposure to a widening variety of people. I evaluate companies as viable workplaces based on the employee culture and whether they legitimately invest in their employees and treat them like a healthy family.

All my values are internal because the inward drive the outward. If you feel content, you have security. If you are inclusive and compassionate, you exude generosity. If you have humor, you endue fun and optimism.  If you have integrity, you act with ethics, you embrace teamwork, and you strive for excellence to deliver results. Everybody wins.

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Most People Are Good

I believe kids oughta stay kids as long as they can
Turn off the screen, go climb a tree, get dirt on their hands
I believe we gotta forgive and make amends
'Cause nobody gets a second chance to make new old friends
I believe in working hard for what you've got
Even if it don't add up to a hell of a lot

I believe most people are good
And most mamas oughta qualify for sainthood
I believe most Friday nights look better under neon or stadium lights
I believe you love who you love
Ain't nothing you should ever be ashamed of
I believe this world ain't half as bad as it looks
I believe most people are good

I believe them streets of gold are worth the work
But I still wanna go even if they were paved in dirt
I believe that youth is spent well on the young
'Cause wisdom in your teens would be a lot less fun
I believe if you just go by the nightly news
Your faith in all mankind would be the first thing you lose

I believe most people are good
And most mamas oughta qualify for sainthood
I believe most Friday nights look better under neon or stadium lights
I believe you love who you love
Ain't nothing you should ever be ashamed of
I believe this world ain't half as bad as it looks
I believe most people are good

I believe that days go slow and years go fast
And every breath's a gift, the first one to the last

I believe most people are good
And most mamas oughta qualify for sainthood
I believe most Friday nights look better under neon or stadium lights
I believe you love who you love
Ain't nothing you should ever be ashamed of
I believe this world ain't half as bad as it looks
I believe most people are good

I believe most people are good
I believe most people are good

Heartless Expectations

What connects us?

The small introverted part of me loves the safety of online communication, and I spend hours in debates and commenting on posts and learning about different topics and people; however, although I'm not exceptionally skilled at it, my favorite medium is face-to-face interactions. Even FaceTime and Skype cannot replicate the energy between two people, whether disagreeing or not. I make many of my decisions about people based on my gut reactions to them in person. Despite what some people will tell you, it is very easy for me to make snap judgments and conclusions, especially online.

Emotions rise easily, and when you don't see the other person's face, you don't get a sense of the natural interplay of in-person interactions. You don't see the tear that runs down someone's face when you make a callous remark, you don't recognize the internal thoughts going through his head when you insult him, and you don't understand her emotions when you debate a topic as basic as the best flavor of cheesecake(key lime). You don't see the consequences of your word choice.

In an age when you can contact the majority of the developed world 24 hours a day, are we really any more connected than before? What determines connection? Nationalism? Human experience? Social standing? Education? Humanity? What do we do when we are connected but don't feel a connection?

We often talk about the human experience being universal. Does that mean if I have not been through your specific experience, I cannot understand? Of course not. I may not be able to understand the particulars, but at a basic level, I can understand the emotions of anger, love, worry, happiness, etc. Does this mean I have more in common with someone halfway across the world than with someone down the street from me? Maybe yes, maybe no.

Even within my own demographic, I am a member of multiple Venn diagrams. How specific and how intricate do we create the parameters that determine connection? If some recent news and posts are to be believed, I should side with my gender over all other statuses; for others, I should choose my religion over all else. Or should it be based on something different altogether?

Between a child and an adult, the same event will provide you with 2 varying eyewitness accounts. For a man and a women, a simple walk down the street elicits different emotional and physical responses. Race has been a highlighted attribute as of late. How I am treated by police and retail shops is not the same as someone with darker skin.

So, how do we find a connection when we are all various mixtures of personalities, thoughts, and experiences? Why is it so challenging to accept that someone else's feelings are valid and should be acknowledged before being addressed? Why are we so quick to assume that someone is acting selfishly? Our thoughts are colored by our life experience and worldview and assumed impression of the other person, whether accurate or false.

Much of it comes down to intention. If I believe that you are attacking me or not acting in my best interest, my interpretation will be far different than if I think you are coming from a place of love.  If you make a comment about something personal to me, my blood pressure will rise and my fingers will start typing 85 WPM to make sure you hear my reaction to your perceived slight. If I instead challenge myself to ask more questions or if I consider you to be ignorant and unaware, my tone will be much different. There's always talk about mindset in the therapy/self-improvement world. Positive vs. negative thoughts, growth vs. fixed mindsets, etc., and it's all valid discussion.

In the Orthodox Church, when we struggle in forgiving someone, we are advised to pray for that person. It's not for the other person, although we do wish them blessings. At first, I don't mean it. In fact, I act more like a two-year-old toddler in a sulk. I don't like them; why should I want the best for them? It clearly shows that prayer is not for God; it's for us.

When you have faith in the larger picture, it's easier to ride out the short-term stresses. Notice I didn't say they were gone. It confuses me some people think that when you become Christian or have a deeper faith, things become instantaneously easier. In no way have I achieved any kind of theosis or inner peace. I struggle periodically with depression, daily with feelings of inadequacy, and always with selfishness and pride. Thank God there's such a thing as grace. Connection to God is paramount in times when people let you down, when they attack you, and when they act (dare I say?) HUMAN. It keeps me grounded on days when all else fails and reminds me to think outside my egocentric assumptions and consider different viewpoints and try to see someone's heart.
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Human

I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days
If that's what you want
Be your number one
I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that's what you ask
Give you all I am

I can do it
I can do it
I can do it

But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
Cause I'm only human

I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds
If that's what you need
Be your everything

I can do it
I can do it
I'll get through it

But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
Cause I'm only human

I'm only human
I'm only human
Just a little human

I can take so much
'Til I've had enough

Cause I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
Cause I'm only human

Allegations

The past few weeks have been rough. I know people talk about triggers so often these days, it's become a joke. On the surface, I haven't had any side effects from all the assault and rape cases covered in the media in such detail. I'm not having flashbacks, and I'm still able to function on a daily basis.

Below the surface is a different story: I've fallen into a mild depression, I am experiencing anxiety, and I am having trouble processing the emotions and thoughts that have manifested. While my abuse hasn't had as large an impact on my romantic relationship as I thought, I assumed I had dealt with it much better than it appears I have. Issues with child abuse and sexual crimes are still sensitive areas and can bring up emotional reactions, even in otherwise calm discussions with my boyfriend.

I'm glad my abuser is dead.

If he were alive today, where would I be? Would I have to decide if I wanted to prosecute him? Would I still be in denial about what happened?  Would I be emotionally stunted? Would I have to sit in a courtroom as every decision I made was torn apart and intent decided? Would my memories be questioned? Would I be attacked for daring to suggest that someone with a shiny public reputation could behave in such a way? Would people insinuate that I was complicit in my own abuse despite being a child when it began? Would I be weighed and found wanting?

I'm glad my abuser is dead.

Maybe that makes me a coward. I don't have to go through any public ridicule and judgment, but I also don't get to ask the question most assault survivors want to know: "WHY?" I don't get closure and satisfaction of justice.

As I watch Dr. Ford share her account of the event she partially remembers, I admire her strength and composure, even at the personal cost of such a decision. Being in such a public forum exacerbates any pressure and anxiety a thousandfold, even from the already heightened environment of a private courtroom. Reading the comments from the tens of thousands of strangers that have opinions on experiences they were not part of has been frustrating and deplorable. How do you explain without sounding crazy that someone whom you never met is impacting your life?

I'm glad my abuser is dead.

I don't have to worry about interacting with him, I don't have to worry about people upset that I dare malign his character, and I don't have to worry about reporting him to prevent future abuse on other people. I don't have to worry about the victim shaming, even in questions that are slanted. Even within the abuse and assault community, everyone has speculations about how it should be reported, when it should be reported, and when it's serious enough to be reported.  I don't have to worry if people think I'm believed just because I'm a woman or because of personal interests.

I'm glad my abuser is dead.

I can proceed with life as it was. I can keep my personal secrets secret. I can minimize the repercussions of his behavior. I can deal with the impact on a daily basis. I can process through my life within my selected social circle. I don't have to deal with him.

I'm glad my abuser is dead.
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Til It Happens to You

You tell me it gets better, it gets better in time
You say I'll pull myself together, pull it together
You'll be fine
Tell me what the hell do you know? What do you know?
Tell me how the hell could you know? How could you know?

Till it happens to you, you don't know how it feels
How it feels
Till it happens to you, you won't know
It won't be real
No, it won't be real
Won't know how it feels

You tell me hold your head up
Hold your head up and be strong
'Cause when you fall, you gotta get up
You gotta get up and move on

Tell me, how the hell could you talk?
How could you talk?
'Cause until you walk where I walk
It's just all talk

Till it happens to you, you don't know how it feels
How it feels
Till it happens to you, you won't know
It won't be real (how could you know?)
No, it won't be real (how could you know?)
Won't know how I feel

Till your world burns and crashes
Till you're at the end, the end of your rope
Till you're standing in my shoes, I don't wanna hear nothing from you
From you, from you, 'cause you don't know

Till it happens to you, you don't know how I feel
How I feel, how I feel
Till it happens to you, you won't know
It won't be real (how could you know?)
No, it won't be real (how could you know?)
Won't know how it feels

Till it happens to you, happens to you, happens to you
Happens to you, happens to you, happens to you (how could you know?)

Till it happens to you, you won't know how I feel