Losing

I've been struggling the past few days, obviously. :) Honestly, I don't feel any type of desire for retaliation. I think at this point, I am just too tired to fight. I am choosing to put my energy into the job hunt, but in the back of mind, part of me is wondering if it's even worth it. Suppose I find a job, and then I have to somehow explain to them that I will be leaving for a couple of years, and would they please hold the job for me??

In an attempt to curb any bitterness, I am choosing a couple of songs that have resonated with me over the past few days:

"Never Alone"

I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no no
I needed You today
So where did You go?
You told me to call
Said You'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are You still there?

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I"m never alone

And though I cannot see You
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You've placed in my life
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/b/barlow_girl/never_alone.html ]
We cannot separate
'Cause You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I"m never alone

We cannot separate
You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I"m never alone

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/b/barlow_girl/#share

"Losing"

I can't believe what she said
I can't believe what he did
Oh, don't they know it's wrong?
Don't they know it's wrong?

Well maybe there's something I missed
But how could they treat me like this?
It's wearing out my heart
The way they disregard

This is love. This is hate. 
We all have a choice to make

Oh, Father won't You forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
Cause I feel like the one losin'

It's only the dead that can live
But still I wrestle with this
To lose the pain that's mine
Seventy times seven times

Lord it doesn't feel right
For me to turn a blind eye
But I guess it's not that much
When I think of what You've done.
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/tenth_avenue_north/feels_like_ive_been_losin.html ]
This is love. This is hate. 
We've got a choice to make

Oh, Father, won't You forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doin' 
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
Cause I feel like the one losin' (oh no)

Why do we think that hate's gonna change their heart?
We're up in arms over wars that don't need to be fought
But pride won't let us lay our weapons on the ground
We build our bridges up, but just to burn them down
We think pain is owed apologies and them it'll stop
But truth be told it doesn't matter if they're sorry or not
Freedom comes when we surrender to the sound
Of Mercy and Your Grace, Father, send Your angels down (singin')

Oh, Father, won't you forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doing (oh, no)
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
Cause I feel like the one losing
I feel like I've been losing

Oh Father won't you forgive them
They don't know what they've been doin'
Oh Father, give me grace to forgive them
Cause I feel like the one losin'
I feel like I've been losing

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
Cause I feel like the one losin'

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/tenth_avenue_north/#share