Ode to a dog

Continuing the trend for this week, I promise this will be the last "I feel sorry for myself" blog this week. :)

Whenever I face rejection, in any form, my mind immediately tries to figure out where MY failure lies. Whether it is a job interview, someone I am interested in, or related to friends; if there is a rejection, perceived or real, I see it as being something I did wrong instead of it being the other person's preference. I immediately begin thinking, "It must be because I am not pretty/nice/friendly/spiritual/fun/thin/musical/talented/smart/skillful/artistic/ good/etc. enough."

The best thing I can recommend for anyone who has not felt as though they have experienced love is to get a dog. Notice I did NOT say cat-not that cats are not good creatures, but they do not have the "I love all beings" that healthy, balanced dogs can have. My Labrador/spaniel mix, Basil, is the best teacher I could have ever gotten. Honestly, I got him because I thought he was going to be larger than he is. My favorite breed of dogs is Newfoundlands. We had several growing up, and they are just magnificent...couch potatoes! I went to the Murfreesboro pound "just to look," and they had this little black fluffy 10-week old puppy listed as a Newfie mix. Knowing how large they get(100+ lbs.), I didn't think anyone else was going to want him, so I agreed to myself that I would go back and if he was still there, I would adopt him. The other thing going in his favor, other than his beautiful brown eyes, which are very expressive, was that he was completely quiet and sitting still in a room full of kennels with barking dogs just looking at me. I was fooled by his quiet misdemeanor! I found out later he had worms, and after a couple of days on medication, he was back to his normal Lab self. For those of you that have never had Labs or sporting dogs, it just means he was always active 24 hours a day, especially if it involved his tennis ball! I think I am 2nd on his list of favorites. Side note: he very rarely barks unless someone he doesn't know is approaching the house, and he has only ever growled at 1 person, whom I didn't like, either. He didn't start calming down until he was 5 years old, and he is now 10 1/2 years old, but still romps around with his tennis ball or his stuffed animals. I look at his whitening muzzle and feel the cysts on his stomach, and sometimes I am sad, knowing that one of these days, I will wake up, and he won't be there. Even now, my eyes are watering and my heart grows heavy with the thought, knowing how much it's going to hurt, but it also encourages me to relish each moment with him. I may be running late for something(as I often am), but I will still take time to give him a hug and rub his belly for a few minutes.

Many people will argue that dogs can not feel emotions because they have no souls, reasoning, etc. I am not going to argue the science or religious beliefs about that. God told us to be caretakers of the earth at the very beginning. Animals are very capable of taking care of themselves without humans interfering. It is often when humans interfere that the ecological systems are affected and damaged. I will get off my environmental soapbox for now, but all I want to say is that I love Basil as much as am able to express love. One could argue that it is a "safe" love, but I would argue back that there is no such thing as a "safe" love. Any time you open your heart to love and be loved, you are risking some sort of pain. Yes, with Basil, it is easier and less risky, but he also has a shorter lifespan than most humans-unless you count in dog years. I believe that dogs are more than we give them credit for, although I have met some stupid dogs(ahem, chihuahuas). When you spend time with any kind of being: dog, horse, or human, you become in tune with their body language, nuances of speech, etc. I don't think the dog is reasoning that this is his human and so he loves him. Dogs are much better at understanding loyalty and pack importance than we are as humans. Sometimes, reasoning just gets in the way of love and harmony.

Back to Basil:

Sometimes, I will forget and leave bread on the counter, and I come home, and it has been graciously taken care of for me. I get irritated, but I also know that Basil will not connect the 2 moments in his mind, so it makes me remove myself and come back when I am calmer. Training dogs has helped alot with this. I am nowhere near perfect, mind you, but I have improved somewhat. Even if I do get upset(and he climbs in the bathtub in shame), once I relax my voice and call to him, he comes back out, and acts as if I am the silly one. This is the relationship I strive to believe I have with God. In many ways, Basil is my role model in dealing with humans: slow to anger, quick to forgive and forget.

But, no matter what I do or  or forget to do, Basil doesn't hold it against me. I am not lacking in anything in his mind. I am perfect as I am, and I am good enough as I am for him.

Prayer for today:

"Spotless, undefiled, incorruptible, most-chaste, pure Virgin, Bride of God, Lady, who unites God the Word to man by your wondrous conception, and who joins the fallen nature of our race to heavenly things; the only hope of the hopeless, and the help of the persecuted; the ready help of those who flee to you, and the refuge of all Christians: do not reject me the sinner, the accursed one, who have rendered myself altogether useless by my shameful thoughts, words, and deeds, and who through indolence have become a slave to the pleasures of this life. But as Mother of the God Who loves mankind, show your love for me the sinner and the prodigal, and receive from me the prayers offered to you by unhallowed lips.

"And, using your boldness as a Mother, entreat your Son, and our Lord and Master, to extend His goodness to me in His wondrous love for mankind, and, overlooking my
numberless transgressions, turn me to repentance, showing me to be a zealous doer of His commandments.

"And be ever near me as merciful, and compassionate, and gentle; in this present life an ardent protection and help, defending me from assaults of adversaries, and leading me to salvation; and in the hour of my departure, encompass my struggling soul, and drive the dark visions of evil spirits far from it; in the fearsome day of judgment, deliver me from eternal punishment, and present me as an inheritor of the ineffable glory of your Son and our God.

"May this be my lot, my Lady, most-holy Theotokos, through your mediation and help; by the grace and love for mankind of your only-begotten Son, the Lord and God, and our Savior Jesus Christ.

"To Whom belongs all glory, honor, and worship, with His eternal ! Father, and His All-Holy, and good, and life-creating Spirit. Amen."

--A long one but beautiful and appropriate during the Dormition fast. It is from the compline service. I first heard it at Holy Theotokos monastery in Ft. Myers, FL, and it spoke to where I was at that time(and still am).