To Err is Human

Why is forgiveness so difficult? When I make mistakes, I want people to remember that I have "exceptions" and reasons that I am the way I am; however, when I deal with others, I treat them on a blanket basis. When they mess up, as inevitably we all do, I am offended and confused and I don't understand what happened. The closer the person is, the worse the blinders are. You would think that with closer relationships, I would realize even more how human they are, but it doesn't seem to matter.

People are funny little creatures. We are so egocentric that we forget other people are...well, people. I forget the good things people have done for me and to me, and I hold on to the negative moments. How is that any reasonable kind of mentality? From an animalistic/evolutionary reasoning, it does make sense. If you remember the bad, you are most likely not doomed to repetition, but from a humane/rationalizing standpoint, it is very detrimental to your emotional health. In some cases, it can actually cause you to repeat your past!

When someone has transgressed against me, I see them from a flat 2-dimensional view. Of course, there is a difference between accidental betrayal and intentional abuse of trust. No matter how I felt about them before, I think of them in terms of pre-event and post-event. In some ways, the more intimate the relationship before the "event," the more impacting the damage, and the longer it takes to repair the relationship. I suppose this is normal, but all I can answer for is how I perceive it.

I am hardest on myself. I expect myself to be a certain way, and I blame myself for whatever has happened. I do not forgive myself for mistakes I've made, wrong choices, or failures, perceived or otherwise. I think this will be the hardest part. It is easier to forgive other people than to say, "You're not a perfect person, and that's okay."

Part 2 to come....
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Unspoken- Who You Are

I know that look you're givin' like you got something to prove.
'Cause I have walked for miles and miles in that same pair of shoes.
You refuse forgiveness like it's something to be earned.
But sometimes pain's the only way that we can learn.

You can never fall too hard, so fast,
so far that you can't get back when you lost where you are.
It's never too late so bad, so much that you can't change who you are.

Ooohhh, Ooohhh, you can change who you are. Ooohhh, ooohhh.

You believe in freedom, but you don't know how to choose.
You gotta step out of your feelings that you're so afraid to lose.
And everyday you put your feet on the floor you gotta walk through the door,
It's never gonna be easy.
But it's all worth fighting for.

You can never fall too hard, so fast, so far that you can't get back when you lost where you are.
It's never too late so bad, so much that you can't change who you are.

Ooohhh, Ooohhh, you can change who you are. Ooohhh, ooohhh.

So let the ashes fall wherever they land, come back from wherever you've been.
To the foot of the cross, to the feet of Jesus. The feet of Jesus.
You can never fall too hard,
so fast, so far that you can't get back when your lost where you are.
It's never too late so bad, so much that you can't change.

You can never fall too hard, so fast,
so far that you can't get back when your lost where you are.
It's never too late, so bad, so much that you can't change.
At the foot of the cross you change who you are.
At the foot of the cross you change who you are.

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